College is Just a Steppingstone. Adulting is the Goal

Kathy Vines (00:00)
One of the topics I was really excited about for season two was to bring a topic around college readiness for kids and how families think about and prepare and navigate those conversations, sometimes from even young ages, and getting their kids ready. I wanted to talk to somebody who’s in the college admissions consulting space and

Kathy Vines (00:28)
I’m bringing somebody today who’s been doing it for a couple of decades, quite frankly. And what I love about her approach is really thinking about the student, the whole student, and preparing for adulting, not just preparing for college. It’s a really interesting conversation around student experience, parent experience, the reality of life today in 2026, and what that means.

Kathy Vines (00:59)
You’re going to get a lot out of it if you’re someone who’s got a kid who’s in the college is a few years ahead, or if you’ve got someone who’s right on the brink of applying or maybe even in college right now and struggling. Welcome to Surfing the Quicksand. I’m your host, Kathy Vines.

Kathy (01:27)
One of the biggest topics I hear from parents in my life is the stress around getting their kiddo ready for college or whatever comes after high school, whether or not that is college. And the conversations are everything from we don’t know where we should be looking, we don’t know what they’re interested in, they don’t know what they’re interested in.

Kathy (01:53)
We can’t get them motivated to look at schools, and that is long before we’re ever talking about the stress of the money. And today I’m inviting somebody onto the podcast who talks about all of it with parents and has been doing it for almost two decades. My guest today is a woman named Shellee Howard, who is the founder and CEO of College Ready, and she’s a

Kathy (02:18)
College strategist. She’s an award winning college strategist, and hopefully we’ll talk a little bit about what that means. But she is somebody who works with families. And what I love is her tagline is she wants to help them as families and get getting teens ready without people losing their mind or their money. She also is on the personal side. Her one of her claims as a mom in this space is that she’s got four kids who got out of college debt free, including.

Kathy (02:47)
A Harvard med school student, I think, and hopefully we hear a little bit more about those kinds of strategies along the way too. Welcome, Shellee.

Shellee Howard (02:58)
Thank you so much for having me, Kathy. It is a pleasure to be here, and I can’t wait to share so many juicy resources.

Kathy (03:06)
Well, I do know that you are chock full of resources and I know at the end we’re gonna talk all about this. So I want people listening and watching today to say that we’re gonna be talking about a lot of things, all of which are gonna be in the show notes. They don’t have to pay attention to the nitty-gritty details as we go, but I want them to just be soaking up what it’s like to get some time with a college strategist who’s been working with families for years. So let’s start there. Tell us about

Kathy (03:36)
College ready, tell us what it means to be a college strategist.

Shellee Howard (03:39)
So great. Well, thank you again for having me. And College Ready actually was started. This is we’re going on our 19th application season, which is so it’s just wild to think that I’ve been doing this so long and I don’t feel any older. I still feel like a teenager navigating the process. Like I get so emotional about it. But College Ready was actually started when my firstborn was in middle school.

Shellee Howard (04:09)
He came home spring of eighth grade year and he says, Mom, I know exactly what I want to do after high school. I’m like, You’re in middle school, where is this coming from? He said, Well, the high school counselor came in, said we need to pick our classes for our freshman year, and that we need to be mindful that if we want to go to a top tier school, we have to have a really rigorous schedule.

Shellee Howard (04:32)
And so I just decided that I wanted to go, you know, I want to be a brain surgeon. I want to go to one of those Ivy things. And I was like, okay, okay. And I was shocked because we had never, I mean, we talked about college often, but he had never revealed this big mic drop drop moment. I was like, what? And I said, well, what about this makes you want to be a doctor?

Shellee Howard (05:02)
He says, Mom, we’ve been doing community service since as long as I can remember. And it just feels so good when I get to help people. I just thought I would do it forever. And I thought, I’m such a good mom. my goodness, what a great mom moment. And then he walks out and he goes, So you’re gonna help me, right? And I was like, put on the brakes because I didn’t realize it just fell in my lap. And so that’s how this.

Shellee Howard (05:32)
College admissions process really became an idea to nurture and to really navigate without going too deep into the weeds. And I’m happy to if you want me to, but what that young man helped me figure out is there’s a strategy. College is a business. They need our money to stay in business. We need a college degree if you want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a CPA. I mean, there’s just some.

Shellee Howard (06:02)
Careers, you have to have a college degree. And so I started thinking, I have

Shellee Howard (06:08)
Two daughters and two sons, I need to put through this process. And I’m an entrepreneur. So college ready was my seventh business that I’ve started. And so I went as an entrepreneur would think, and I’m like, let’s reverse engineer this whole college thing. And so I needed more information. It was so there was so much bad information and so much contradictory information that I was getting really frustrated. And that’s why the the

Shellee Howard (06:38)
My first book is How to Send Your Student to College Without Losing Your Mind or Your Money. I honestly thought I was losing my mind because I would read something in one document and it would be the total opposite in another document. And I was like, how is one supposed to beat this if we can’t even get the rules to the game?

Shellee Howard (06:59)
And so my firstborn did exactly what I said for four years. He never fought me. And I have to emphasize that because I have three others, two of which didn’t think I knew anything. And so I want to be mindful, not every child will listen to their parents like that. He did. So he followed the plan to the T.

Shellee Howard (07:25)
He applied to 12 schools, got accepted to 11, had seven full ride offers. My my plan worked. He got a full ride to USC. He got the presidential scholarship. There was one given to the freshman class and he got it.

Shellee Howard (07:40)
And then Harvard sent this beautiful package. And I’ll never forget my son saying, Mom, I think my friends are messing with me. They they already know that you want me to go to USC. It’s close to home. And I think they’re messing with me. Will you call Harvard? And so I called Harvard and I said, I think my son is has applied there. And they’re like, Yes, we can’t wait for you to come and enjoy campus and check it out. And I was like as shocked as he was. And

Shellee Howard (08:10)
And so we go off to visit Harvard, just the two of us, and we’re walking along the Charles River, and he looks at me, and I look at him, and I knew he had fallen in love. I knew he had really drank the Kool-Aid. And I was like, I’m not paying $67,000 a year when you have a wonderful free education from a very wonderful institution. And so he says, Okay, will you help me?

Shellee Howard (08:41)
And what he was saying is,

Kathy (08:41)
Again.

Shellee Howard (08:44)
mom, can you fix this for me? And so I did what an entrepreneur would do. And I’m like, problem solution. When I buy a house, I do financial negotiations. When I’m, you know, hiring a realtor, I’m talking about discussions about different ways to finance. So I said, yes, as a matter of fact, this is what I’d like you to do. And he did, and it worked.

Shellee Howard (09:11)
And it was wow, was that so affirming? Because that was the final step. He ended up going to Harvard. It was an incredible experience, one he is so grateful for. Then went on to UC San Diego Medical School and just finished orthopedic surgery at UCLA and is now heading on to fellowship back in Boston. So now this mama’s thinking, how am I gonna get him back to California?

Kathy (09:40)
Well, you know, it’s lots of people come here to Boston for medical medical journeys and they go back to where they were from. I thank you for sharing that. And you know, I have to tell you, I was struck by the fact that you talked about this being your 19th admissions season, meaning like the people who are becoming freshmen now weren’t even alive when you started this. Like you were literally be doing this.

Kathy (10:09)
their whole lives, the people you work with now.

Shellee Howard (10:13)
And the fun part is I love it more today than ever. It’s like I get to go to work every day. I feel so lucky that I get to inspire teenagers to be the best version of themselves. You know, college is a stepping stone. It’s not the end game. Adulting is the in game. And so I’m just helping to make great, great human beings. And so I feel really blessed to be able to have that career.

Kathy (10:44)
Love this, I love the reframing of this isn’t just about college. It’s about adults adulting and becoming great human beings. And I’m I’m someone who I now I don’t have children, and I I’m usually much more clear about that up front in an episode when it applies to parenting. But I don’t have children, so I haven’t been on this ride myself. But as an HR professional for 20 years and as a career coach for another 14, I have conversations

Kathy (11:12)
a lot with people about their degrees and about what college has meant and about whether or not employers should be mandating college degrees, all these things. So it is on my mind and in my professional life for a third of a century, even if I haven’t been a parent. So I wanna I wanna talk about that, that notion of it’s about adulting, not necessarily about college. And what is what does that mean? What does that perspective mean for you

Kathy (11:41)
when you’re starting to work with a young teen and their family?

Shellee Howard (11:45)
So I try to help reframe because what it does is it takes the stress and the competitiveness and puts it on a side shelf for a moment because we all know we have to adult. It’s it’s not really an option we get to choose. And so it’s a lot easier for parents to think and not be competitive and not be overwhelmed and not go into that cycle of

Shellee Howard (12:11)
How am I how am I going to navigate this? And so what I have them do is take a step back and let’s focus on the student. Let’s focus on their core values, their gifts, their talents, what they advocate for. And if we can tap into that and set them on their path in something they are truly gifted at.

Shellee Howard (12:34)
Something they want to change in the world, they are gonna go forward and be successful. Why? Because they are completely connected to it. It’s not something they have to do, were forced to do, there was not another option for them. And so I often say, if as adults, can you imagine having an opportunity to speak to somebody about your future when you’re a teenager and about connecting with things that mean something to you?

Shellee Howard (13:04)
you. I know I changed my major five times and it was because I couldn’t figure out what gift and talent that I was going to step into. I was like, well, I love this and I like that. And it’s hard. And I’m an entrepreneur. So I I knew that I wasn’t going to fit into a box. And that makes it even harder. So what we do at College Ready is we start with the student and we start with what they are wired to be.

Shellee Howard (13:33)
Then we talk about what are careers that fit that, what are majors that fit that career, and then we take it one step further. Will AI be doing that job before they finish their degree? That’s a whole nother generational situation we got going on.

Kathy (13:56)
Yeah. Yeah. wow. you know, I I know that this is on the heck, this is on the mind of fifty year olds, let alone fifteen year olds, right? the the notion of what role does AI play in the dreams I have and the trajectory I’m imagining. And I love hearing that you talk about it in a formal way with these kids and these families. I wanna go back to you you described

Kathy (14:25)
You described yourself as somebody who had, my gosh, I love so many different things. How could I possibly? And then I think about the other very common profile, the I’m not into anything. And I don’t, you know, I like video games, whatever, whatever, right? The people who like nothing. No, the parents of the people who like nothing and the parents of the people who like everything, they’re coming to you with.

Kathy (14:55)
The stress about I don’t I don’t know how to take this forward. I hear you talking about gifts and strengths and and what they’re wired to do. Can you take us a little deeper into how you how you work with both of those profiles of kiddos?

Shellee Howard (15:11)
I think that’s an important question. And this generation has had to face it a little bit harder than years past. They wake up and they see everybody’s best day. Nobody’s posting their worst day. And so they think I’m not tall enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not strong enough. I’m not fast enough. I’m not enough. And when you lean into I’m not enough, how do you ever lean into what it is that you you should do, what you want to do? But you’re already thinking.

Shellee Howard (15:41)
How can I compete with them? And I hope students and families realize that the this generation is faced with.

Shellee Howard (15:54)
The FOMO, the fear of missing out, the fear of I’m not good enough, the fear of everybody’s got a better situation than me. And it’s just the reality in which they live. So what I do at College Ready is we help reframe that. And we take the focus off the student and we have them serve their community.

Shellee Howard (16:17)
I know it sounds so counterintuitive, but when a teenager flips and stops looking at how insecure they are, and they look at the world and see all of the need out there and what that truly looks like, all of a sudden they think, wow, my life is pretty amazing.

Shellee Howard (16:40)
I have so many opportunities. And then this generation also, I love this generation. They’re my favorite. So I’m not picking on them. These are real, these are real challenges. Truly, I adore them. Is they struggle with, they don’t want to fail because somebody’s going to catch it on video. They’re going to put it on YouTube. They’re going to put it on TikTok.

Shellee Howard (17:04)
You know, back in the day we would pass a note and hope the teacher didn’t get a hold of it. You know, the really little simple, stupid stuff. These kids are in fear that everybody’s got their camera out. A fight in the hallway, a a disagreement. Yeah.

Shellee Howard (17:22)
The challenge.

Kathy (17:23)
But you know what?

Kathy (17:24)
so you’re talking about when you’re talking about the the fear, right? You mentioned fear of this and fear of that and fear of that. And you know, for sure, this is a generation that has been tapped into anxiety and anxiety related issues more than anyone be anyone before. and but hearing those, you know, those layers of well, some of it is

Kathy (17:51)
What they’re exposed to in social media. And some of it is what happens if they fail. And some of it is what if AI, like all the different things. This sense of redirecting some energy outside of themselves, outside of this peer structure or the social media structure, or whatever they’re measuring themselves against. And instead saying,

Kathy (18:19)
Let’s get you serving your community, serving a community. That it feels really powerful. And I know a lot of high schools have like community service hours as a function of graduation. I and so I know that this is this is something that lots of parents are already in here. Like, of course, that’s why we get 10 community hours a year or whatever that is. Tell me tell me how you are focusing this suggestion with your client kids.

Shellee Howard (18:47)
So many people look at community service as a box to be check for college.

Shellee Howard (18:53)
I even have had families on social media tell me that it’s awful to have a child serve their community. It’s free labor. And I was like, wow, there’s a different perspective I’ve never seen before. So I don’t want to say you have to do this. I can only speak from 19 years of experience of being with teenagers every single day.

Shellee Howard (19:23)
And raising four of my own. That’s my only perspective. What I have realized is when they are looking at somebody else and going, you know what? If I don’t help them.

Shellee Howard (19:37)
They’re not gonna be helped. They are gonna be no worse off if I mess up. So I might as well go and try this. And at least they have a shot at having support or help or, you know, providing them something. And I think that’s the missing piece that many people don’t realize. It’s not giving free labor.

Shellee Howard (20:04)
It’s what it does for inside the person.

Shellee Howard (20:08)
Many people go into community service thinking I’m going to help another person. And I’ve been of that before. When I went to Kenya my first time, I thought, I’m so good. I’m gonna help them do this thing. And when I left, I was like, I’ll be changed forever. Like what transpired in me will never be the same. And and that’s why I have seen it time and time again. I took my son to Kenya, my daughter to Peru.

Shellee Howard (20:35)
another daughter to Africa. So I’m talking about really peeling back and allowing them to do something they would never do. Lead others to create the change they wish to see. What does that look like? It could be food insecurity, it could be providing them an opportunity.

Shellee Howard (20:56)
To have clean water. It could be teaching them your favorite song on the keyboard. It could be from the arts to sports to medicine to law. And guess what? Your child is thinking, I thought I wanted law, but I really don’t like that pressure.

Shellee Howard (21:17)
Or I was thinking medicine, but that really grossed me out. And so now they’re testing out what they think they want. And it’s a really good time for them to be like, you know, I really don’t like little people. Or I really don’t like the elderly. Or I don’t even like people. I have had one student who said, Shellee I do not like people. I do not want any career that I have to talk to another person.

Shellee Howard (21:46)
He has the number one eBay store on the market right now, just so you know, and he is killing it, but he doesn’t have to talk to a single solid person. And that happened because of community service.

Kathy (21:59)
This is amazing. And I again I don’t know much about the college admissions strategist, college counseling business, but i it would surprise me to learn that they all lead with w having valuable real world skills aligned or skills expanding community service is such a strong pathway. Again, not

Kathy (22:28)
To college but to adulting.

Shellee Howard (22:30)
Right. And this is not a college admissions thing. This is a college ready thing. most college admissions people will say, What school do you want to go to? What is your GPA? What is your test score? On and on and on. And my problem with that is the student doesn’t know. And so they are just giving whatever information, and now they’re being connected to a school that

Shellee Howard (22:59)
They don’t even know if they want to go there or if they even have their major. And there’s so much disconnect. And then people wonder, well, how do they get in debt? That student is circling through the path of not fine figuring out what they want to do, and they’re just taking classes. And they’re just in college. And now they get out of college and they picked a major that AI is taking over. Or psychology where there’s no job called psychology.

Shellee Howard (23:28)
Nobody told them you have to go get a further

Kathy (23:29)
As a as a psychology major, I can I can validate that, yeah.

Shellee Howard (23:33)
I’m sorry. But that’s just one I can

Kathy (23:35)
No, no,

Kathy (23:36)
yeah, yeah.

Shellee Howard (23:36)
That’s

Shellee Howard (23:37)
one example that nobody told these kids. They’re all thinking, yes, I would like to learn how people think. Who wouldn’t? It will serve me well. Absolutely. But nobody said that when you graduate and you look at the, these are the jobs that are out there, none of them says psychology major.

Shellee Howard (24:00)
And now they’re thinking, what do I do? I’m in debt. I didn’t do this right. And I need to start paying my student loans. And I don’t have a job. I don’t have a I don’t have a path. And they’re starting to second guess themselves when in all reality, they just don’t know why they chose psychology in the first place.

Kathy (24:25)
And so that feels like at the foundation of the work you’re describing around saying, w w what does interest you? What would interest you? How could you imagine spending your time? And how does that inform psychology versus something else, some other path you might take a look at?

Shellee Howard (24:46)
Yes.

Shellee Howard (24:47)
And why is that important? Many people just assume they’re young. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, so they probably don’t know what they wanted to do. But here’s the thing, I’m telling you how to do it. So now you get to choose to just let them spiral or choose to have them figure it out. One way or another, they’re gonna figure it out. Do you want them to do it before they go to college and pick the wrong major, the wrong college, and get into debt?

Shellee Howard (25:17)
Or do you want them to do it now because it gives them confidence? My students are so confident, and people often comment: how do you have such amazing students? And I say it simple: they all know themselves really well. Once you know yourself, it’s amazing what you can do.

Kathy (25:40)
Again, that applies to the fifty-something year old woman. We’re we also we struggle with that as well. I I I want to talk about an an another student type who’s the one that maybe maybe college the year after graduating high school is not the right answer or college yet. And maybe it’s college someday, but not college yet.

Kathy (26:06)
I have to assume there are families who come through your program where like that’s gonna be part of the answer. How are you how are you leading those conversations with that student and how are you leading those conversations with those parents?

Shellee Howard (26:21)
So important. And sometimes they’re not aligned and there’s a lot of division. The parent wants what’s best for the child. I really want to believe that. In my heart of hearts, I’m gonna stand on that ground that I believe that a parent really wants what’s best. Now we get to the student, and the student is, they don’t know. And maybe they’ve heard their parents talking, we can’t afford college. College was silly. I didn’t use my degree. I still am paying off debt.

Shellee Howard (26:52)
I still can’t go on vacation because of blah blah blah. They’re hearing all of this negative chatter and they’re like, I don’t want that. Who would want that? That sounds awful. And so here’s the problem.

Shellee Howard (27:05)
I ask every student when I get on a call with them, I said, listen, do you know what you want to do after high school? Some will say, yeah. And I’m like, great, tell me. And they’ll they’ll take a stab at it. Others will say, no, and they kind of shrink a little bit and they kind of feel bad about it. And I’m like, don’t feel bad. And then there’s others who just get quiet because they are so scared to say what they want to say. And this is where it gets really hard.

Shellee Howard (27:35)
And I wish I had a psychology degree because sometimes I do feel like I’m a therapist. But here’s what I know: is sometimes I just have to ask students questions. In other words, I’ll give you a story. It’s a little quick one. Had a parent call me up and they said, Hey, we’re gonna be meeting with you. I want you to tell my daughter she cannot be a botanist and go to NYU. And I said, Sir, I don’t I don’t understand what you’re saying. He goes,

Shellee Howard (28:05)
I’m not paying for a degree at NYU for her to go and put her hands in dirt. okay. All right. That’s fine. So I had even met this family before. He’s like telling me what to tell her, and I’m like, I don’t know about this. So we get on the call, and like with every student, I just speak their language, and I’m like, I hear you like, I hear you like planting plants. And she goes, Where’d you hear that? And I said, Well, your dad says that you want to be a botanist. She goes, Yeah. I’m like, Well,

Shellee Howard (28:34)
Tell me why. Is it, you know, you you have a green thumb, like you can you enjoy the plants? Is it the oxygen? She goes, No, I don’t like plants. I said, what? I said, why do you want to be a botanist? And she goes, I want to save the environment. I’m like, Okay

Shellee Howard (28:58)
That’s a lot different than somebody putting their hands in dirt. And so sometimes it’s me without judgment asking really curious questions. Help me understand. I’m curious. I would like to know. And I don’t judge them, but I’m like, help me. I want to know so I can help you. And this particular dad.

Shellee Howard (29:22)
He had a tear coming down his face. Like he he saw the mismatch of what he was thinking and what the student wanted. And that miscommunication opportunity was keeping him up at night. And he hired me on the spot. He’s like, that alone will save us thousands of dollars in therapy.

Kathy (29:46)
Forget

Kathy (29:46)
about college. Now we’re into a completely different budget though of spending. Yes, for sure.

Shellee Howard (29:50)
Yeah.

Shellee Howard (29:51)
So, you know, going back to the the original question of the gap. So we we first need to figure out if a student says, I want to take a gap year, I’m like, awesome. What are you gonna do? I don’t know. I don’t know what I would do in college. I don’t know what I want to do in a I just don’t know.

Shellee Howard (30:13)
I’m super frustrated, and my parents are frustrated, and I just don’t know. But and the parents are saying, Well, I’m not paying for college if they don’t know. And now there’s this huge tornado starting to form. And I say, Okay, I hear you. But here’s the thing about a gap year When all your friends are leaving for college and you’re saying goodbye to all of your buddies, and now you’re on social media and you’re seeing everybody’s best day at college, and you’re at home.

Shellee Howard (30:42)
And you still don’t know what you want to do, is that going to make you feel better? Hmm. And are you going to want to spend that year applying to college or applying to jobs when everybody else is living this other life? Or would you rather apply to college right now with everybody else? And if you feel like you’re not ready to go, you request a defer.

Shellee Howard (31:12)
A deferral, a pause, and the school will honor that 90% of the time. Now you have a year to figure out who you are, what matters to you, serve your community, get a job, whatever that looks like, mature at that level, and now.

Shellee Howard (31:34)
You’re ready to go to college. But you have a plan. To not have a plan and just take a gap year, that’s dangerous. That sounds like I just want to do nothing or I’m terrified. So you have to be really careful why that. And maybe it’s you want to be an influencer, you want to be an entrepreneur, you want to go to trade school. You you want to do something other than college. And that’s again, for me, I think that’s very eye-opening.

Shellee Howard (32:04)
And so I’ll ask a student, so you’ve decided not to go to college? I honor that. I have a nephew and I had this exact discussion. I said, what do you what do you want to do? And he says, I want to do welding on race cars. That’s what I want to do.

Shellee Howard (32:23)
Outstanding. my gosh, that fits him so perfectly. And I said, now help me understand when you’re 50 or 60, are you still gonna want to weld race cars? Well, no, I’ll hire people to do it. I don’t want to bend over that whole time. That sounds awful.

Shellee Howard (32:44)
And I’m like, so where’s your business plan? How are you going to know how to hire people? There’s so many rules and laws, and it’s overwhelming. He goes, I don’t know. And again, it comes down to the lack of understanding, is what’s causing this pause. But that’s the problem. They still can’t do nothing.

Shellee Howard (33:13)
Right? Remember, we’re adulting, and adulting means we have to do something. And that’s what I want families to know. To just pretend like it’s just gonna fix itself. That is not a plan. That’s you’re never gonna retire. That’s a scary proposition.

Kathy (33:33)
It really is. And I think it’s scary for the parents and the kids. And it just plays out with with deeper cuts along the way. I I am I’m really struck with the, you know, that conversation that you just kind of led through around the gap year feels like that’s a that’s a early

Kathy (33:58)
senior year or a junior year in high school kind of conversation about a strategy. Like, okay, taking time makes sense, but we’re still gonna do the work to apply. We’re gonna still do the work to figure out what feels right so that you’ve got something that you can push pause on as opposed to it evaporates, we didn’t up we didn’t apply to anywhere. And now it’s I don’t know, I guess I guess in my first year out of high school I’m gonna figure it out again.

Kathy (34:28)
Now I know you’re working with people and families who have invested in a process earlier than probably earlier than senior year for the most part. but what do you what do you tell those parents who are trying to reconcile the but but they’re not gonna find themselves in the basement. They’re not gonna find themselves. I I didn’t know myself until I went to college.

Kathy (34:52)
And I figured out what inspired me and I met my friends that were my friends for life. And I met my husband or my spouse. how they’re not gonna get any of that living in their room. What do I how do I support them?

Shellee Howard (35:08)
Yeah, so I th again I think the bigger question is why are they in their room? That that’s what that that’s the bigger question. Is it because they’re deer and headlights? And this is what I really see parents, and and I I I I can’t answer it any other way. but I I see these kids are so fearful to do something wrong, to fail, that they do nothing.

Shellee Howard (35:38)
I see that they don’t feel good enough, so they don’t try. I see that they’re frustrated with the cost and the c competition, and so they pull themselves away. And so they’re quitting before they ever get started. And this breaks my heart because I I I just I I hate to see this become an epidemic.

Shellee Howard (36:02)
But what I have found is as soon as I give them a plan, as soon as I do step one, step two, step three, they’re like, this is amazing. All I have to do is this. I’ve been I’ve been procrastinating, and this is what I get to do. They all are in. I’ve never had a student have a plan and be like, no, that’s stupid, Shellee. I don’t want to do that. They’re so thankful.

Shellee Howard (36:30)
They are truly so thankful that somebody said, do this, do this, do this. And now they’re like, my gosh, I can breathe. So for the students who are hiding behind the, you know, the controller of the gaming console or in their bedroom behind a guitar, I don’t know what they’re hiding from.

Shellee Howard (36:53)
Most of the time they’re scared to adult. That means a lot of responsibility. And if you can’t lay out what that looks like, they’re gonna remain in I’m scared. And so if you can give them glimpses and again show them community service where the focus is not on them, but on how they can help another human being with their gifts and talents, now they have purpose.

Shellee Howard (37:20)
With purpose comes confidence. With confidence comes the ability to step out and step in. And that’s what I think is missing in this process. Again, I’m not a psychology major, not a therapist, but I work with a lot of teenagers. So mine’s pure quantity of what I’m seeing. And their parents are amazed. They say, I’ve told them to do just that. And they thought I was crazy.

Shellee Howard (37:51)
Yeah.

Kathy (37:51)
You know, I the thing I was struck by is you you speak about the relief that the relief and the inspiration that these these kids get because somebody spelled it all out for them. However, I’m confident lots of parents are saying, Yeah, I spell it out for them. They’re not interested in hearing it from me.

Shellee Howard (38:13)
They’re not. And that’s a reality. And I I’m honest, I have two boys and two girls. And two thought I knew everything, and two thought I knew nothing. And that is just part of parenting. I I didn’t treat them any differently. They just came out that way. And I like I I hired one of my consultants to tell them exactly what I would have told them.

Shellee Howard (38:42)
But they thought my consultant knew everything. Genius. And many parents have the same thing where they said, I told them they need to do community service. And I’m like, well, what did you say? And they’re like, we need to go to an old person’s home. And I’m like, do they like old people? Well, I never asked them that. I just thought that would be easy. And I’m like, that’s the problem. They don’t want to just do what’s easy, they want to do something else.

Kathy (39:11)
I I think I think that idea of community service coming from the the idea of it coming from the the parent or you know the adult in their world is just like here this is a way to get you connected with others let’s go but just like careers it’s also well what do you like to do? Do you wanna do you wanna cook in a homeless shelter and prepare food? Do you wanna be, you know

Kathy (39:38)
working in a farm? Do you want to be cleaning up the river? Like what interests you? And that that is such a nice way to inspire a again, like a little peak of interest. Like, that’s w say more about why that one interests you and making it kind of student led.

Shellee Howard (39:58)
Mm-hmm. We actually have an organization called EmpowerEducation.world. It’s a nonprofit, international nonprofit that I started about three years ago. And it was started because I got home from my fourth trip to Africa.

Shellee Howard (40:14)
And I was talking to my students, just you know, we we have these conversations, and I was sharing, and I get really fired up about this still, that when a young girl becomes a woman in Africa, she’s unclean and she cannot be educated. And that to me just lit me up because I’m like, I’m a woman, I have two daughters, makes no sense to me.

Shellee Howard (40:39)
And so I was telling one of my students, and Henry, I’ll never forget, said, Well, let’s do something about it. And I’m like, wow, here’s a young man who is like advocating for these women that he’ll never meet. And I was like, Yeah, all right, what are we gonna do? And he’s like,

Shellee Howard (40:59)
Well, let’s do this, this, and this. And then I told more students. And now there’s 52 students who meet every week globally that are they’re they’re building a school in Uganda, educating 950 little people. They’re stepping into an orphanage in Oaxaca, Mexico, and a and a school for the blind in India. They do it all online in the safety of their own home while seeing the live impact.

Shellee Howard (41:29)
From my directors at these at these opportunities. Why is this so powerful?

Shellee Howard (41:37)
Is because they are coming up with the why. They’re coming up with how we can help them. There was one young lady who wanted to be a doctor, and she said, you know, these women are using banana peels. That is totally unsanitary. We need to create these reusable menstrual pads.

Shellee Howard (42:00)
And so she created a pattern and she got all these other kids involved, and now they’re creating these reusable menstrual pads These kids are now getting educated. Like this is what this generation can do. And you know, if you’re interested, go to empowereducation.world. Check it out. It’s a student-led nonprofit.

Kathy (42:23)
This is amazing. And I I love I love this the synthesis of of so many different things here. Like, first of all, it’s aligned with your principles anyway of hey, let’s part of this college ready and part of adulting is this whole student and and tapping into community service, whether that’s around defeating anxiety or tap developing your skills and your interest, all of that is is already so core to what you do and how you do it.

Kathy (42:53)
But then to say that your own personal experience traveling throughout the world, providing these confidence of opportunities for your own kids and yourself, and that it it came out of some another student’s hearing your story and your dismay, really, and tapping into their own empathy and ingenuity to say, Well, we can do something. And now you’ve got a school that teaches 950 students in Uganda. Like it’s it’s really amazing.

Kathy (43:23)
It’d be amazing if you told me you started this nineteen years ago. It’s mind blowing that it was three years.

Shellee Howard (43:29)
And it’s I have to give the credit to the students. That that young man Henry just finished his first year at UCLA pre-med, and that was his dream. He he really wanted to go to UCLA. That was his dream, and he really wants to be a doctor.

Shellee Howard (43:45)
And so, you know, it was one young man saying, I’m with you. Let’s do this. And then he led others, and then I would invite others, and it just organically grew. And I think what’s so powerful about it is all of these students are not competing. They’re students from all over the world, and they are really leaning into something that matters to them. There’s the sports group, the law group, the medicine group, the

Shellee Howard (44:15)
We start with what’s important to the student. We connect them with other students with the same gifts and talents, and they’re on fire. What they can accomplish, it’s well beyond what I’ve been in groups of adults do because we’re so busy. And not that they’re not busy, but it is amazing to see how they do have time when it’s something they deeply care about.

Kathy (44:44)
Again, couldn’t we all say that? I have plenty of time when it’s something I care deeply about. gosh, I love this conversation. I I want to switch to the quicksand three and then when we come back, I I want you to talk a little bit more about college ready, but I know you’ve got you’ve got some like free resources on your website that people can check into and you’ve got so much rich content there. I want you to talk a little bit about that when we come back and about empower education.

Kathy (45:14)
world again. So quicksand three, three questions I ask everyone. The first one is, what’s a tip or technique that you use to get yourself unstuck when you’ve been procrastinating or avoiding something?

Shellee Howard (45:29)
Do the hard thing first every single time. It’s so counterintuitive. We want to do the easy thing. That’s not how it’s supposed to be done. Spend, give yourself like turn on the timer, 15 minutes of the really hard thing you don’t want to do. And now you’re in it. You’re just gonna finish it, get it done. And it feels so good because now you’re like, I only have the easy stuff left.

Kathy (45:59)
I love that. So it’s not only do the hard thing, but like just commit for 15 minutes and you’ll be surprised what happens in minute sixteen. Yeah. second question. If skills and time in history and money and all sorts of barriers were not in factor, what’s a career or job you might have liked to have tried?

Shellee Howard (46:22)
Yeah, that’s you know, this this is it. This is like I’m pretty fortunate. I get to do what I love to do and impact people that I really care about. If there was one other job that somebody just said, Okay, you have all the money you need, I would fly an airplane, I’d be a pilot.

Kathy (46:46)
So cool. You know, you you can

Shellee Howard (46:47)
Yeah. I love to travel.

Kathy (46:49)
still learn to fly an airplane at this age.

Shellee Howard (46:52)
Yeah.

Shellee Howard (46:52)
I you know, for me, I now would rather work, do what I love, and pay for a ticket and have somebody else take care of me and I get to relax. but truly travel is it’s my number one passion. And so if I was a pilot I could go anywhere.

Kathy (47:13)
That that’s that is great. And clearly you’ve you’ve done some amazing world travel. final question is when life gets chaotic, how do you recharge or hit the reset button?

Shellee Howard (47:25)
Walk on the beach, hands down, anytime when I feel myself getting to that point, I go and get grounded, put my toes in the sand, feet in the water, put my earbuds on, listen to the music that gives me energy, and I just walk. By the time I’m done with my walk, I’m ready to go again.

Kathy (47:50)
Thank you so much for taking a little time with those. Let’s get back to sharing about college ready, sharing about some of those resources that parents who are interested in just learning more about their own journey with their kids at this stage, whatever the age is, can learn more. And again, tell us more about the the foundation.

Shellee Howard (48:11)
So I like to offer your listeners a clarity call. So maybe they are like, I don’t know what’s going on with my child, or they do know and I need support. If you go to collegereadyplan.info I-n-f-o, you’ll see 30 minutes on my calendar where we can have a just a brief discussion to get you refocused on you’ve got this.

Shellee Howard (48:39)
If you’re more of a do-it-yourselfer, go to collegereadyplan.com/resources resources, and you will see a core value assessment that the student or the adult can take. I’ve had more adults take it than students, and a student aid index calculator. Like there’s seven different resources that I just have there for you. If you’re like, I’ve got this, I just need a little support.

Shellee Howard (49:08)
Both of my best-selling books are on Amazon and they’re on sale for $4 a piece for your listeners. So there’s some great get it done, make progress, and just want to support your listeners.

Kathy (49:27)
Thank you so much. It’s really you’ve got you’ve got so many rich resources. That student aid calculator is sounds like just unlocks some secrets for people, even if they’ve already figured out the where and they haven’t quite figured out the how that and alone sounds like value. Thank you so much for being a part of the podcast. This has been really a core, core topic I wanted to bring to the parents’ side.

Kathy (49:55)
For my listeners and viewers, and I’m so happy to have had you.

Shellee Howard (49:59)
It’s been my pleasure. Thanks, Kathy, for having me on the show. And listeners, you’ve got this.

Kathy Vines (50:06)
Shellee is such a fascinating woman. I and I I kind of want to know what the other six businesses she had before she started college ready, but for sure she found the things she loves. not to mention starting a whole foundation and nonprofit around providing community service, global community service opportunities for kids in a way that’s so aligned with.

Kathy Vines (50:33)
obviously her principles for her whole business and what she thinks goes into adulting and being college ready. She really has so many great resources on her website. And again, between a book or some of the tools on the website or or taking her up on that generous offer about a free discovery call, 30 minutes with her, just to kind of check in on where you’re at and where your kiddo’s at on this journey. She shares a lot with people and I’m I’m

Kathy Vines (51:02)
Grateful that I found her and got to bring her into the surfing the quicksand world for for one week together. Thanks so much for being here. See you next time.